poetry, writing

Attempting a Slam Poem

I’ve been very inspired by slam poetry lately. Maybe it’s because I’m performing in The Vagina Monologues, but there’s something so beautiful about just getting your feelings out there without worrying about rhyming or sounding good, but saying what’s on your mind and getting a point across. So, here are some feelings:

Since the day we are born

Somehow it leaks into our heads

That we have a place

That we need to change

To be more like her, now her

But never her.

Never speak out of turn

Or your mind

Never put on weight

Never show how smart you are

Never outdo a man

His ego is too fragile

And somehow that’s my problem

Because his feelings, his pleasure

Will always come before mine

 

Well like Michael Jackson

All I want to say

Is that they don’t really care about us

They want us to take off

All of our hair that isn’t on our head

Put on uncomfortable lingerie

It’s not sexy if I don’t feel sexy

It’s not okay unless I say so

It’s my body, not yours, NEVER yours

You have the privilege to touch it if I say so

I am so much stronger than you will ever be

Because I have had to deal with this bullshit

Day in an day out

I have had to overcome a world that said I should hate my body

That I shouldn’t be me

Well I am me

I’m all I have

And slowly but surely

I am coming to love me

And finding people

Who love me for me

Because they’re the only ones who deserve

To have me in their lives

 

Uncategorized, writing

Why I Love My Characters and their World

I have finally reached the point in my novel where I don’t feel awkward writing, or like a stranger trying to describe events I can barely remember. I feel like the master of this world and my characters feel like old friends.

This is such in incredible feeling. The feeling of slipping away into another world I get from reading I can now get from writing, and I am at the wheel. So now it’s like living a lucid dream, I can describe these settings and interactions knowing I am in control.

My characters are beautiful and thriving. They all have their faults and their talents that make them so unique and real to me. I love each and every one of them so much. Maybe because lately I have been feeling a lot more self-love. They are a part of me after all. Veronica has my awkwardness and empathy, Aila has my shyness and loyalty. Curly Sue has my love and pride in others. Nadia has my sexuality. Ester has my skepticism and love of learning. Anne has my leadership and my burdens. Teja has my loneliness and love. Cordelia has the spirit I have tucked away but find some days. I love them all more than words can describe. I am a proud book mama.

But seriously I can get so welled up with pride in them I feel like my heart has grown to encompass these lovely pirate ladies, searching the seas for their paradise in a world that has spurned them for wanting to be who they are. I hope when I finish this journey, you all will love them and their world the way I do.

Prompt, Uncategorized, writing

Character Picture Writing Prompt

This is one of my favorite writing prompts to do with my club, you give people a selection of characters, they choose two and have five minutes to make character bios, then they must write a scene or a story with these two characters. Have fun writers, if you’re feeling brave share what you come up with in the comments below 🙂 My piece will be below the pictures.

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(Victoria sits at a desk shuffling papers. Amelia enters and taps on the door. Victoria looks up and makes a face at her appearance.)

V: Oh God.

A: What? Is something wrong?

V:(sighs) No no, come on in. Let’s get this over with.

(Amelia sits, she is uncomfortable)

V:Now then. You are here to interview for the (grimaces) assistant management position?

A: That’s correct. You’ll see on my resume I have a lot of experience. Last summer I was the assistant-

V: Yes yes I’ve seen your resume. (She flips through some more papers) What would you say is your biggest weakness?

A: Oh. Well I suppose I get really excited for projects, and I come up with all these out there ideas, so I have to remember to dial back into reality and make sure my goals are realistic.

V: Yes some of your ideas certainly are out there.

A: Excuse me?

V: Oh nothing.

A: No, what did you mean by that?

V: Well your hair for one thing.

A: What’s wrong with my hair?

V: Well that can’t be your natural color.

A: So what if it isn’t?

V: If you must know it’s highly unprofessional. You look like a teenager, or part of a punk rock band.

A: (really angry now) Well maybe expressing some individuality is a good thing, certainly better than having a stick up your butt. Who are you to judge me? You don’t know why I decided to color my hair or a damn thing about me.

V: Your attitude tells me enough.You aren’t getting this job.

A: The job description said they wanted someone who would bring originality and ingenuity to the company.

V: Yes, well I think you are a little TOO original.

A: TOO original? There’s no such thing. You would be so lucky to have me working here. Tell me, when was the last time you did something creative? When was the last time you did anything other than track back and forth from your 9-5, have lunch on the weekends with the girlfriends, and had boring missionary sex with your boyfriend?

V: (stunned, Amelia nailed her) Well… I-

A: Life is a beautiful and short thing. Do me a favor and stop wasting it trying to fit in with everyone else. (Amelia rises and strides towards the door) I want to work for a company that accepts me and encourages me to be who I am. (She exits.)

(Victoria sits there stunned for a moment. She takes out a small mirror and examines her face in it, frowning. Then, she takes down her hair, slides off her shoes, and dials a number on her phone.)

V: Phillip? There’s something we should talk about…

THE END

Uncategorized

I Want to be Where It’s summer All the Time, a poem

I want to be where it’s summer all the time

And the grass breathes green

And love is divine

The breeze kisses your thighs

As you stroll through the town

Window shopping by the beach

You wander places you’ve never been

Just to see what you haven’t

When you haven’t got the time

I want to be where it’s summer all the time

And the grass smiles green

And love takes it’s time

Girls in bright dresses

Take his arm

Walk to the rhythm of the waves

Kissing in the sand

Baking in the sun

Not a care in the world today

Fall brings caution

Winter runs and hides

Spring we wake up again

But summer is the prime

I want to be where it’s summer all the time

And the grass smells green

And for a moment, I am the most alive

Uncategorized

Having a Mental Illness as an Writer (and the movie Frank)

frank-michael-fassbender-trailer

I recently watched the movie Frank. There were so many moments that touched on mental illness and creating art that struck me.

For those who haven’t seen in, Frank follows John, an awkward man who makes stream of conciousness songs. He meets Frank, a very talented man who always wears a plaster head. John is invited to join Frank’s odd band and help create their very original album. John ends up trying to be more like Frank, and convinces him that what he wants is fame and to be liked, even if that means sacrificing originality.

This is demonstrated by John constantly trying to get Frank to remove his head, instead of accepting him for who he is like everyone else. Frank clearly has some sort of mental illness. Later when John meets Frank’s parents, he asks what trauma happened in his childhood to make him a great artist. The parents reply ‘Frank was always musical. Nothing traumatic happened, his mental illness is just a part of him. If anything it made it harder for him to create music’.

This resounds with me so much. I suffered with horrible anxiety for so long and while it definitely is an inspiration for a lot of my writing, it does not make me a better writer. It can make it even more challenging, I am even more critical of myself than most people and struggled to show my work to anyone for a long time.

I have succeeded in spite of my mental illness, not because of it. I am often afraid to share my work inspired by depression or anxiety because I am afraid people will assume that the story is exactly like my life and that I have gone through more trauma than I have in reality, or on the opposite end of the spectrum they might think I’m milking my illness for attention. I shouldn’t be afraid to get my feelings out on paper, and I shouldn’t be so worried about people misinterpreting my work. This is something I have to work on every day.

At the end of the day, I have to accept that people will think what they think, and I can’t do anything about that. If someone really cares about me they will clarify any concerns and talk to me about my work. Putting my emotions into writing only makes it stronger so I am going to strive to share my darker, riskier works with others. I am a unique person and my mental illness is a part of me, it is a part of me and is going to find it’s way into my work.

If anyone has any opinions on this topic comment below! I’d love to discuss this further 🙂